Treasured Secrets (The Coveted Saga #1) Page 13
Chapter 13
More to it than Just Love
A promise not kept is nothing more than a pretty lie.
I had spent almost every waking moment with Tallis. I was learning everything I could about him. There was still so much to learn.
He was eighteen when he turned eternal. His mom said he was the youngest that she knew of. He was kind of proud of that fact. I'd been worried I would be older, like Iris or Allaysia, but Tallis said that was unlikely.
He said most people turned around their early twenties nowadays. He believed that magic was evolving and we were transforming earlier to get closer to the guardian deadline. That way we wouldn't have to go long without being masked. He also believed that it may have been a side effect from the spell cast by Allora.
He told me we would start preparing my body when I showed signs that I was close to transformation. I didn't like the idea of waiting that long to see if I was his soul mate.
The days had flown by, and it was closing in on Christmas break. School was going to be out for a couple weeks, and I looked forward to spending every moment of those two weeks with Tallis. I was concerned about the fact that it had been a few months, and he still had not kissed me.
We had gotten so close so many times. There were so many heated moments where he couldn't run away, but someone always ruined it. It was Ash mostly. She and Desmond had been spending a lot of time together though.
I had asked Tallis if he knew anything. He said that Des would be in denial for a while, even if they were soul mates. Desmond still felt hurt from the years of feeling like a pariah. He was still adjusting to the new acceptance, and seeing Ash here and there would eventually wear him down. Tallis said that it would be nearly impossible for Desmond to stay away once they had a true, emotionally connected moment. Sometimes it just took a spark to ignite a roaring fire.
I had decided I was finally going to tell Tallis I was in love with him. We were supposed to hang out with Aster and Chris later - since I had to be masked and Chris was a bodyguard - and then when we got back, I had every intention of telling him how much I felt for him.
I had it all planned out perfectly. Our Christmas vacation started in the morning, so no annoying buzzing and no empty bed when I got up. We could just sleep in and snuggle the day away. Hopefully, there would be some overdue affection during that time.
We got home from school, and I went straight to my room. I called Ash who was all too excited to come help me out with getting ready for my big night out. I couldn't wait.
Ash put me in a little fitted black dress that was sleeveless. It was absolutely freezing outside, so I decided that something had to give.
I dug through my closet and found a cute dark denim pair of jeans. Then Ash grabbed a sheer red shirt and gave me a black see-through lacy shirt to wear underneath. I felt pretty good about the way I looked.
She put my dark brown hair in some loose curls, and I had on a little more makeup than usual, but in a tasteful, glamorous sort of way. I had on black high heels with red stripes that crisscrossed in the front. It was the first time I had ever felt confident about the way I looked.
I'd never walked in high heels, so Ash spent thirty minutes giving me lessons. It was a lot harder than I had anticipated, and Ash was frustrated with my inability to be girly. I awkwardly got the hang of it - enough to pass her test, at least.
While I waited, I sketched in my art room. I sketched what I had been sketching for several months. His face was all I could see. His lips were the hardest part to get right because they were so inexplicably perfect.
I was so nervous about the first time I was going to say I love you. I was nervous about what I thought would be our first kiss. Tonight, things were going to change, and I was going to make sure of that.
Jaslene came up the stairs. She and Alvin had been living in the guest house out back.
"Hey there, pretty girl," she chirped. Her eyes widened slightly in a very surprised and displeased sort of way. "You're a little too pretty actually. You don't look like the same glum, young girl that left me in Haluali." Her voice was upbeat at first and then turned sappy and sentimental.
"I'm not the same girl. A lot has changed… I've changed." I couldn't stop smiling, but there were tears in her eyes.
"Be careful, honey. There's a lot more that's going to change in your life, and well, Tallis may be one of those changes to come." Concern wrenched her voice.
"Tallis is in my life to stay. I know you think I'm just a young foolish teenager, especially since you're like three-hundred years old, literally. But I know this is real, and I trust that I'm right."
"I'm actually four-hundred-and-fifty. I was born back when... Well, no history lessons tonight. Tonight my little girl goes out on her first real date."
It was odd seeing her look thirty again. She almost looked the same age as Iris. It was still an adjustment.
She hugged me tightly and went back downstairs to where everyone was congregated. I joined them shortly after. We were talking and joking around when there was a knock at the door.
Jay laughed while speaking in a playfully teasing tone. "Did he actually just knock? He's been coming on in for months now. I swear he's moved in and not told anyone."
He had no room to talk. Ayla spent most of her time there, too. She and Jay had become inseparable. It was uncanny really. Jay had never been the settling down type. That soul mate connection must be pretty powerful stuff. I couldn't wait to be Tallis's soul mate.
Aster walked to the door, motioning for me to come with her so that the family didn't tease us for longer than necessary. McKee was there, scowling as usual when it came to Tallis and me. He was completely different than the perky, confident guy I met the first day of school whenever Tallis was around.
I felt bad for him, but I loved Tallis. McKee stared at me as I walked to the door. Then he made a snide comment.
"Don't see the point of taking her out when he's been sharing her bedroom for months now."
I cut my eyes at him and shook my head. He wasn't ruining this for me. I wouldn't allow it.
As soon as Aster opened the door, I darted out to the porch. There he was. He had on dark denim jeans with a button up black shirt that complemented my ensemble quite nicely. His eyes grew incredibly wide when he saw me.
"Wow." He seemed surprised, which was flattering and a little disheartening at the same time. I definitely needed to dress up a little more. "Did I miss something? Aren't we going to grab a bite at the diner?"
I heard Jay snickering. I ignored him though. I was slightly blushing as I spoke with a bit of embarrassment. "Yeah, I just let Ash have her way with me tonight."
As I shut the door behind us, he waved to everyone. I grumbled under my breath when I saw McKee roll his eyes.
Tallis wrapped his arm around my waist to usher me to the car. I leaned into him, ignoring the fluttering nerves trying to strangle me.
We got to the diner and I heard a guy whistle at me. Tallis shot him a threatening look. The guy threw his hands up in mock surrender, snickering somewhat. Tallis shook it off.
"He wouldn't be laughing if he knew you could blow him up with the flick of your wrists," Chris whispered, chuckling lightly.
Tallis let out a laugh and got over the quick surge of anger. He put his arm around me. He winked at me as he spoke in his smoldering tone. "I guess I can't blame him for his interest. You're… well… perfect."
I felt myself blushing, squirming awkwardly under his enamored gaze. "Ash worked hard." I smiled lightly.
"She didn't have to do anything. You're always beautiful." He winked at me, making those butterflies collide in frenzy.
"So then there's nothing special about me tonight?"
"I never said that. Tonight-" He paused, letting his eyes rake over me in appraisal. "Tonight, you're stunning in a whole new light. Made me gasp for air."
N
ow I really was blushing. He certainly had a way with words. He was definitely smooth and charismatic. I found charm in the tiniest of things he would say. I was in love with him, and my resolve was cemented. I knew he was my soul mate no matter what the odds were.
My voice was quiet. "Thank you."
"Anytime." He was staring intensely into my eyes until we were interrupted by the waitress.
We finished up and walked out with our fingers interlocked. The night was going great.
Chris and Tallis had been having a friendly dispute about who was faster. They decided on a ten mile race. Tallis turned to kiss me on the cheek.
Mmm. His lips were so soft.
"Chris and I are going to settle this. I'll be back soon. I'll be the one you see first."
Aster rolled her eyes as Chris leaned over and kissed her. "Be careful, boys. Don't let yourselves be seen."
Chris chuckled as he spoke teasingly. "I don't know about him, but I'll be going too fast for the mortal eye to see." Then with a whirling sound of wind, they were gone.
Aster and I walked around to the side of the restaurant. She laughed lightly as she spoke. "Boys will be boys I guess. I suppose it doesn't matter how many centuries they have under their belt."
"Apparently." I laughed, too.
Then we heard voices. It was the guy who had made Tallis mad earlier by whistling at me, along with some other rough looking guys.
"What's up ladies?"
The fatter one licked his lips as he walked toward us. His bulging belly shook as he approached. I cringed at how grotesque I found him to be.
"How's about we go have a little fun?"
Aster looked at him threateningly and replied sarcastically. "Oh gee, what's that on my finger? Oh yeah, it's a wedding band. My big strong husband wears one that matches."
The guy didn't care about her noted rejection. Now he locked his eyes on me. "What about you? You aren't wearing a ring, honey."
I pulled back, but I wasn't scared. I knew Aster could take them with no problem. Not to mention what Tallis would do to them, or what Chris would do.
"I don't see why not. You guys want to come back in about twenty minutes and see if we're still here?" I could hear my sarcasm matching Aster's, and I admit, I got a bit of an adrenaline rush.
"You girls think you're cute," the greasy guy sneered.
They all reeked of alcohol. The wild in their eyes was scarier now that I had upset them. Something was off. The darkness swallowing their eyes up was almost inhuman. Though they were foul, they didn't carry the stench the creepy guy from the woods held.
"You think it's comical to poke fun of people because you think you're hot and rich? Let's see how funny you think this is."
He reached over and grabbed me by the waist and threw me over his shoulder very forcefully before carrying me away. I pounded his back ineffectively. He didn't even flinch.
I was looking for Aster to save me, but she didn't. Finally, I spotted her. She was on the ground, holding her stomach, eyes squeezed shut in pain. I didn't know what just happened.
I struggled to get free, but he was too strong and he wasn't letting me go.
He finally dropped me to the ground. My knees hit first and I felt them bust open against the pavement. I could feel shooting pain as someone kicked me in the stomach. They seemed possessed as they showed no mercy, but their strikes were mortal. What the hell was going on?
A voice taunted me with no compassion. "How hot are you now. smartass?"
I tried to get up, but my knees hurt too badly. They burned like they were on fire. I could feel the blood running down my legs. One of them grabbed me by my hair and slung me into the side of a dumpster.
I felt my lip split open, my breaths grow coarser, and my eye swell. I could taste blood now.
They just laughed as they passed around a bottle of liquor. Then one of them sucked on something that resembled a pipe. They were deranged and sadistic as they took pleasure in beating me to a pulp.
With every new blow, I worried about what would be next. I worried that despite the immortal attack I had survived, I was going to be killed by strung-out, alcoholic mortals.
I heard someone talking, though the sound seemed echoed and distant. I struggled to move, and my breaths were painful.
"Yo man. We're just teaching her some manners. Rich girls think they own this town. This ain't got nothin' to do with you. Just walk away before you get hurt."
The next thing I knew, there was a guy sailing through the air, slamming into the dumpster right beside me. Then I heard the greatest sound in the world ring out - Tallis's voice.
"Really? Six guys beating the hell out of one girl?" A string of curse words flew from his mouth as he lost control, breaking anything he touched.
The guys were running and screaming, but Tallis was bringing them back. Each one of them was lucky they only looked as bad as I did. Tallis showed restraint not killing them. I'm sure he wanted to.
When he finished, my attackers were all lying on the ground, unconscious, but still breathing. Tallis turned to me with tears in his eyes. He picked me up and started carrying me away from the disaster zone. I stifled the wince that begged to be freed. It hurt... everywhere.
"I'm so sorry," he murmured through a strained, agonized tone.
I summoned all the strength I could to keep from showing him how much pain I was in.
"It's not your fault. I'm the one who antagonized them. I thought Aster would stop them, but something happened to her. Is she okay?" My voice was shaky, and weak, not aiding me in convincing him I was okay.
He grimaced upon hearing the painful sound in my voice. "Nothing you could have said would justify anyone ever doing this to you. You have no idea how bad I wanted to snap their necks in half," he hissed through gritted teeth.
I asked my question again, in an attempt to shift the conversation. I worried that he might actually go back to finish the job. "What about Aster?"
He answered while still assessing the damage done to my body. "She'll be fine. Chris took her to the house to see Anesta. I'm sure it's nothing."
He sounded convincing, but I was still worried.
He set me in the car, and I cringed with pain as my knee scraped the side of the door. "Ow, ow, ow, ow," I squealed through one rapid breath.
My hands were skinned pretty badly from being drug on the pavement. My lip felt twice the size it should. My face throbbed with pain, and the unwelcome taste of blood invaded my mouth even more.
Tallis's face was unnervingly furious and miserable at the same time. He leaned away like he was going to go back, but I grabbed his hand.
"Let's go check on Aster. I'm worried."
He nodded somewhat reluctantly and climbed in the car. He slammed his door so hard I was surprised it didn't break. Before I knew it, we were going a hundred-and-twenty down the old highway. I just dropped my head back, hoping the pain would cease or at least decrease. It only seemed to worsen though. Everything on me was throbbing with pain. Then I felt Tallis touch the side of my cheek with the back of his hand in a caressing motion. I looked at him and tried to make light of the situation.
"Well, I was trying so hard to look sexy tonight. I think this just put me over the top."
My attempt at humor was in vain. He didn't smile. He just stared at the road, silently brooding for several minutes.
"No one will ever hurt you again as long as I'm alive."
The conviction and protectiveness in his tone made my heart flutter. It was the perfect moment. As horrible as I looked, it was still perfect. I was about to tell him I loved him, when suddenly we were at the house. The yard was littered with vehicles.
"What's going on? Is it Aster?" Now I was really worried.
"I'm not sure."
He jumped out and had my door open before I even got my hand on the handle. He scooped me up, carrying me and my battered body. He
had no idea how painful this was. His grip was too tight, but I couldn't tell him.
"I can walk."
"No, it's the least I can do for leaving you alone." His eyes were almost in tears from his unwarranted guilt.
I took a deep breath and spoke through the pain. "Quit blaming yourself. This wasn't your fault at all. I'll be fine."
Chris met us at the door. He had a look of sheer terror that instantly turned to fury. "Damn!" Then he turned to Tallis with his fists clenched. "I'll go back with you, right now."
I put my hand up quickly in front of Chris to stop him. "Tallis already handled it. They'll feel worse than I do when they come to." I stopped for a second to fight of a burning stab of pain from my knees. "I don't want to talk about this. I want to know what's going on with Aster."
His face changed. So many emotions gathered in his eyes at once that I couldn't tell what was going on.
I was ready to panic, when he said, "We're having a baby."
I could hear the shock and worry in my tone. "What? Is the baby okay? What happened? Aster was on the ground."
"Yeah, having a magical baby introduce itself can apparently knock you off your feet. Aster didn't know what was going on. She's pretty worried about you though. I told her not to worry. I never imagined… What kind of mortals do this to a girl? I never even knew animals like that existed."
They kept fussing over me instead of worrying about Aster. I was almost terrified to see what I looked like. I could feel my ribs trying to dislodge.
"I'm fine. I promise," I lied. "Why is everyone here?"
"It's customary to call the heads of the families in on the first night of awareness - to get their blessings. They wish the baby a safe journey and prepare the body for the carrying of a magical child."
"Oh."
I knew he was excited, but I could also tell he felt conflicted about being happy after seeing how I looked. I felt like I was taking away from the moment. I didn't want anyone else to see me.
Aster needed everyone to focus on her. I looked at Tallis and spoke quietly. "Will you take me outside?" I took a breath, still fighting off the searing pain that seemed to be spreading by the minute, then I looked at Chris. "Chris, will you send Anesta out when she gets a chance?"
His eyes were so burdened as he spoke with absolute guilt. "Yeah no problem, Aria, and again, I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I'm fine." Sharp pains kept coming from my side where I had been kicked. I certainly didn't want Chris or Tallis feeling worse, so I didn't tell Tallis that the way he was holding me was torture.
He gently placed me on the swing of the front porch. He sat beside of me and carefully placed my head in his lap. He began gently stroking my hair, while letting his free hand rest gently on my stomach. It was peaceful, minus the pain of course. I reached up to touch his face. It was soft and gentle, like him. I pulled his hand from my stomach up to my lips and kissed it. He smiled and finally looked down at me.
"So on a scale of one to ten, how incredibly tempting am I right now?" I joked. He shook his head, amused, but said nothing. I wasn't giving up that easily. "Too soon?"
That got a snicker out of him. I smiled up at him and he flashed a small grin at me. I knew my voice still carried waves of pain in it. "At least I got something out of you besides sadness."
A ruffled breath blew out of his tightened lips.
"You don't know how hard it is for me to know that I could have prevented this." His eyes were riddled with guilt he didn't deserve to feel.
"I'm fine. You did prevent it from being worse. If you hadn't shown up, then I really would have been in a mess. You always save me though."
"Yeah but-"
I put my hand over his mouth to stop him from continuing to blame himself. "But nothing. I'm very happy that you saved me…again. You're always my hero."
He smiled big that time.
We were interrupted as Anesta walked up, speaking with uncertainty in her voice. "Aria? Chris said you needed me." Her eyes caught sight of my battered body. Fury and surprise rang out in her tone. "What the hell happened?"
"A group of guys jumped me, beat me up pretty badly. Tallis stopped them before one of them cut my face up."
Tallis flinched. I guess he hadn't even noticed what was going on when he threw himself into the fight. He just knew I was a bloody mess on the ground.
Anesta shook her head in disbelief. "Filthy mongrels. They should be turned to ashes for this."
"It's my fault. I shouldn't have left her side." Tallis put his head down in shame.
Anesta had been cruel to the whole Verdan family since the alliance. I was surprised when she didn't take the opportunity to kick him while he was down.
"You can't watch her every second of every day. You left her in the very capable hands of Aster. How were you to know her baby would make introductions tonight? You've barely left Aria's side for more than an hour or two at a time for the past few months. You haven't hurt her or taken advantage of her, and it seems like you're always saving her. You shouldn't feel guilty for this. Not to mention, she'll be just fine in a couple of minutes. This is the easy stuff. Mortals are too weak to make a mess I can't clean up quickly."
I smiled as they exchanged a silent promise of truce. Anesta was finally accepting the Verdan's. Or at least Tallis anyway. She looked down at me.
"All right. I need to know where you hurt the most. I need to start with the worst pain."
I pointed to my stomach and spoke through gritted teeth. "I think my ribs are broken."
I saw Tallis's face distort. He realized I'd been in pain the whole time he'd been holding me. "Why didn't you say something?" he asked, his tone swelling with misery.
"Because you would've just felt worse."
I forced a smile as Anesta put her hands on my sides. My ribs moved inside my body. It hurt for a moment longer, but then I could breath easily without the sharp pains. Next she put her hands on my knees. I watched in disbelief as my skin that had been ripped apart suddenly closed back together right in front of my eyes. It looked like nothing had happened. Then she did my hands, my lip, and my bruised face. When she finished, she hugged me and I thanked her.
I looked at Tallis, who was still beating himself up. I looked down at my body as I spoke with ease now. "See? Now the only things messed up are my clothes. I need to go change."
He stood up and wrapped an arm around me. We went upstairs, away from the multitudes of people.
When we got to my room, I put on some new clothes. He had his back turned to me, staring out the window. I threw on a pair of yoga style pants and a tank top. I walked over to where he was standing and wrapped my arms around him.
"You like that window, don't you?"
"I just like making sure you're safe, even though I didn't do so good tonight."
"Don't start that again." I paused for a minute. "Anesta seems to be coming around. That's good."
"She's not so bad. She's just in pain." His eyes started looking down toward the floor as he talked to me.
"Why is she in pain?" I was puzzled by his statement.
"Anesta has been looking for centuries for her soul mate. She's been waiting and longing for her other half. She's never looked outside the realm of witches. Then she learns that bodyguards and witches can also be mates. So she expands her search into the guards as well. Then she finds out about Allaysia and Edmond, and realizes that she's been so closed-minded for centuries. She's been looking for a witch instead of looking for magic. It's disheartening because now she worries that she has already missed her chance. There's so many more places to look as well."
"Oh. I hadn't thought about that." It would be lonely to be alone for centuries. I thought for a moment. "I think you… I think we're soul mates."
I didn't intend to blurt it out so boldly, or awkwardly. I was becoming increasingly horrible with timing and words.
"I'm sorry. I guess I thought you felt the same way." I felt my voice cracking and heard its uneven tones.
He grimaced slightly. "I care for you, but this is dangerous."
I tilted my head. "Why is this dangerous?"
He sighed loudly and walked away from me. "Everyone thinks that Dramus was this crazy lunatic that sat in a dungeon and looked for a way to drain an essence. That's not how it happened though. He was just trying to kiss a witch and found himself inhaling her. That sort of thing doesn't happen like that for the other dark ones. They have to try to inhale. That could very possibly happen to me, considering I share his blood."
I shook my head. "That's crazy. You're nothing like him. You're pure and light. I can't see it, but I can feel it."
He looked away with shame and guilt in his eyes. "That's not a chance I'm willing to take with your life."
I put myself in front of him and forced him to look at me. "It's a chance I'll take all day."
He put his hands on my shoulders and sighed again. "I wouldn't let you take such a chance. I won't do anything that jeopardizes your safety ever again."
I rolled my eyes. "You haven't ever jeopardized my safety. I'm a big girl, and I can make my own decisions."
He was avoiding eye contact with me. "Not about this. I can't let you risk your life just to be with me. It's not fair and it's not practical. It's just your emotions running away with you, and for some foolish reason, I've allowed myself to get wrapped up. I'm only endangering you by getting so close."
"Don't. Don't do this. We've been stuck in limbo for so long - together but not together. Don't do this."
He groaned, letting his hand roughly slide through his hair. "Aria, you don't know what you're saying."
I could feel tears forming in my eyes. "I know we're soul mates. I can feel it. Every time we touch, every time you look at me, every time I even get close to you, I can feel it. I can feel the pounding in my heart getting heavier anytime you're gone for too long. I know I'm right about this. Don't say that it's just my foolish emotions, because I know it's so much more."
"I don't think you understand. Soul mates are hard for immortals to understand, let alone mortals. I know that you feel for me, but it's the attraction to my immortality. It's a normal feeling. Mortals have always been drawn to immortality. A link. It's not me. Magic is completely intoxicating. It draws you in without you even realizing it. Your magic isn't here yet, but I can still feel it pulling me in. It's strong and almost irresistible. But that doesn't make us soul mates."
I was dumbfounded. I'd been certain that he knew it was as real as I did. I couldn't believe he didn't feel the same way. But I was mostly crushed by the fact that he viewed me as he did any other mortal.
The dams broke and tears began pouring out. "I thought… I was sure that… I know I feel something between us. I know it's more than an attraction to immortality. I'm not attracted to anyone but you. All I can think about is you." I watched as he winced lightly, and I sloppily wiped my tears away.
He spoke even quieter. "You and I have a strong bond, because of how much time we've spent together. The magic in your veins is stirring from being in such close contact with mine. When you're immortal, all of those feelings are amplified to a degree you can't even comprehend yet. Once you transform, you will see all of that with such better clarity. You will also understand the emotional linkage as well. When you transform, the strength of that link will be gone. The connection that draws you to me will be gone."
His eyes twitched with pain, and he took a steadying breath.
"You don't want to kiss me. Not like this. I've fought so incredibly hard to resist such temptation. Everyday I fight the urge and try not to let myself want you."
Tears were pouring out faster than I could wipe them away. "Quit fighting! I don't care why you think I want you. I know why I want you. It's more than your immortality or our magic. And it's much more than some stupid link!
"It's the way you smile when I talk. It's the way I feel when I'm sleeping beside you. It's the way I feel when you're waiting on me outside with coffee in the mornings. It's the way you stare me in the eyes, and I know you're the only person in the world for me. I was so sure you felt the same way."
He wouldn't even look at me when he spoke again. I could hear him clearing his throat so as not to choke up.
"I know it feels like that, but I know what I'm talking about. Your mind will change; the way you feel for me will change. It's going to kill me as it is. I don't want to make this any worse than it's already going to be. I've been so selfish by letting your human emotions affect me.
"We're drawn to mortals, too, and the feelings they have. You can love and lose, and then love again. It's not that way for us. I've been around for many years. I was glad to feel free to care the way you did. Until you, I didn't even know how much I yearned to feel connected to someone - real or not. But if you waste the rest of your mortal life with me, you'll regret squandering the chance to be with whoever you choose while you can still choose.
"The reason a soul mate bond is so strong is so that magic can carry on. It's not a bad thing once you've found it, but until you do, it's a lonely road. I can't let you give up your opportunity to choose while you still can. You'd never forgive me, and I'd never forgive myself."
Tears flooded my face furiously now. It was almost hard to breathe. I felt as if I was going to hyperventilate. "I choose you. I choose everything about you. If you don't think I can love you later, then just let me love you now, because I do love you ."
He had tears flickering on the edge of his eyelids, trying to fall. He wouldn't blink in order to keep them from doing so. "I can't do this to you. I care about you too much. I want things to stay the way they are. In my world, there is more to love than just love. You can't help it."
I took a deep breath. I was hurt and mad. I was so confused and embarrassed. "They can't stay the same. I want you, and I just told you I love you. If you don't want me that way, then you should go."
"Aria, please." His tone pleaded for me not to do this. I regretted ever saying anything.
I lowered my voice, letting anger slither away to leave me alone with my pain and humiliation. "I can't right now. I can't pretend like I didn't just try to give you my heart completely. I can't pretend this isn't unimaginably painful. I can't pretend that it's easy to be with you right now. Just go, please. I need some time to process all of this."
My voice was barely a whisper by the end. I couldn't look at him anymore. It hurt too much.
"Aria, I never meant to hurt you. That's what I'm trying not to do."
I put a hand in the air and turned my head away to stop him from talking. There was nothing he could say right now to make it okay that he wouldn't even consider that I might be his soul mate. I was just a dumb mortal to him. He was the dumb one though. I knew I was right. I just didn't have the strength to keep fighting at that moment.
"I know you didn't mean to, but you did just hurt me. Please... go," I whispered.
I turned around, facing away from him. Then I heard the swish of wind blowing out the window. I walked over to the same window and watched him drive away. He blazed out of the driveway. I could hear the squealing of tires for miles. At least I didn't have to worry about him dying in a car wreck.
I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. "Arisianna?" It was Jaslene. "Honey, are you okay? I saw, and heard Tallis leave. What happened?"
As she made her way over to me, I fought back the fresh onslaught of tears.
"I told him I loved him and he didn't feel the same way. He said my mortal feelings clouded both of our minds. Then he proceeded to tell me I needed to enjoy the rest of th
e mortal time I have and love other people."
I started sobbing uncontrollably as she sat down beside me on the bed and wrapped her arms around me. She kissed my head and began rocking me slightly, as a mother tends to do when her child is hurting.
"Oh, honey, I was afraid of this. Tallis did the honorable thing. He's just looking out for you," she said. Her tone was deceitfully comforting, but her words cut through the already shredded pieces of my heart.
My eyes narrowed with a rejuvenated sense of anger. "What?" I backed away, swatting at her hands when she reached for me. "How could you say that to me right now?"
Her tone turned to explanatory as she tried to defend her poor choice of words. "Dear, I know you believe he's your soul mate. All of this has just been sprung on you too fast. You learned about your destiny in the most unconventional way. I'm sorry, but you haven't had the proper amount of time to really digest the overwhelming heaps of information you've had thrown at you. It's going to take some time, but you will understand. The chances of you finding your soul mate so fast are slim to none. The chances of you finding your soul mate before transformation are… Well, it's never happened before. It's an emotion the mortal mind is too fragile to fully comprehend."
I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat, recoiling from her even more.
"What about Aster, Gear, and Jay?" I barked. "Desmond may be fighting it, but he's still Ash's mate. Maybe our family has a need for their soul mates so quick."
Jaslene grimaced, letting her guard down enough to show me secretiveness in her eyes.
"Arisianna, dear... Geariandan and Astrianna are over a hundred years old. They were born a full century before you. Jaymondian and Ash are, however, the exception to the rule. Ayla has been searching for centuries though. The same goes for Desmond. And Ash is truly struggling in pain while he fights the emotions that even someone as old as he has difficulty understanding. It's not as simple as you believe it to be. I wish it was."
I was still reeling from the first part of her revelation. Has my whole life been nothing but one enormous wad of lies?
"Whoa. Gear and Aster are that old? Why am I just now finding that out? I have memories of them growing up with me. They were older, but I still remember them."
I was starting to glare at her with absolute distrust. Everything... All of it... It was all a lie.
She grimaced again. "Fabricated memories, mostly," she said, letting out a harsh breath when she saw the horror on my face. She sighed deeply before continuing. "When Gear and Aster would come to visit, they would bring a guard. They would also change their appearance to be younger. However, most memories were the concoction of a dreamer."
My eyes grew wide. I felt like a rug had just been pulled out from underneath me and I was landing on a bed of jagged rocks. Everything had been turned upside-down.
My voice echoed the betrayal I was feeling inside. "You have to be kidding. Memories of my brother and sister are fabricated? How could you?"
She tried to touch me, but I knocked her hand away with disgust. She frowned slightly.
"I'm sorry, dear. I didn't plan on having anymore children after Geariandan Astrianna. I told you about getting my tubes tied before getting pregnant with you, but it wasn't true. I went to a chanter, which is a magical doctor. He told me I wouldn't have anymore children, but directly after I had Jaymondian and then Ashiara the very next year. Then I went back to the chanter. Again he told me I wouldn't have any more children. Then you introduced yourself to me so late in the pregnancy that it nearly shocked me to death. I was trying to protect you, but now it seems as if I should have told you about your destiny sooner."
"You think?" I scoffed sardonically, refusing to meet her gaze.
She sighed. "I may have done this all wrong, but everything I did was for you. I thought I was doing what was best for you. Nothing like this has ever happened with your siblings."
I just mumbled, "The road to hell was paved with good intentions."
She groaned, desperate to find a way to clear her conscience, but I was done. I had no intentions of easing her guilt.
She took a deep breath before speaking again. "Honey, you've had so much dropped on you so fast. Let's not press anything tonight. I think you need some rest. We'll talk in the morning. Give your emotions time to settle down. We shouldn't let anything get said that we might regret." She got up and headed to the door, hesitating before she fully retreated. "Good night."
I didn't say anything. I just turned away. I listened as her footsteps disappeared down the stairs.